-Rodel Mandia
Mi Ultimo Adios (My Last Farewell) - a poem wrote by no less than the Philippine's National Hero Dr. Jose Rizal on the eve of his execution dated December 30, 1896.
I know I already bid goodbye to the person I loved in the past and I promised to not write anymore about that person. I actually moved on from that tragic experience and ready to commit myself once again in case the opportunity comes but I think there is a necessity to write this article for the benefits of every body's (those involved) peace of mind.
Two months ago, I received a comment in one of my articles wrote by "Anonymous" and upon close reading I know its Jona. She said she is "missing me" and that "she made a wrong decisions in letting me go before". That time I know I'm ready to befriend her so I unblocked Jona in all my social media accounts and tried to get in touch with her again. Upon opening the door again, I came to know that she and her office-mate turned boyfriend are still happily together in fact they are allegedly getting stronger that made me feel happy because at least everybody is happy now.
It was during that time that I still have no idea about this "office-mate". What is his name, how does he looks like, How rich he is etc etc.. Stuffs like that but I don't really care that much since he is not the reason why I opened the communications again.
I was carried away by the reality that everything is fine now, that we can now be friend and I forgot to consider the fact that I am already a stranger. I felt so ashamed when I realized that so I stopped being "feeling close" to Jona and just let everything goes the way it has to be.
I have a very dear online friend name Aldrey (here you go I mentioned you already..lolz) - an IT student from Far Eastern University (wow talino pre ah. joke.. hahaha) and an avid fan/reader of this blog (sabi nya. haha). He is very cool (sa sobrang lamig muka ng bangkay. joke :P) and friendly (without benefits..joke lang pare..lol) no doubt we became friend. He really loves reading, in fact he is also a reader of many other blogs specifically IT blogs like Yuga Tech, WhenInManila, PinoyMoneyTalk and Unbox to name a few.
It was one time that Aldrey is browsing the net when he accidentally went to a specific blog site which initially he called "the most emotional blog he ever visited" because all topics being discussed there are the failed relationships of the owner of the blog. According to Aldrey he actually cant remember but he was able to leave a comment there sympathizing with the author which was immediately caught the attention of the owner (Lets call him Regie) of the blog. To cut the story short, they became friend also, and one time while they are talking online, Aldrey mentioned about my failed love story written in this blog because Regie's story is nothing new to him and the same story has already been published so he gave the URL of my blog to Regie and there everything got more complicated. Regie discovered that my story is actually part of his story, that I am Rodel Mandia the EX-boyfriend of his current. He read my story and what amazed me is that he was able to verify it. He seconded that everything I wrote are true and what even more frustrating is that He is undergoing the same thing as if their love story is just a repetition of our previous mistake. After realizing those things Regie immediately searched me in Facebook and send me messages and there we became friend until today.
I realized, Jona really didn't learn anything from me. She didn't improved, I failed to make her be a better person after all. Regie even told me that he caught Jona cheating many times, even meeting with her "flirtmates" in their "monthsary" (my gad that's excruciating.). I pity Regie very much because he is just a victim also of a person we both loved. I always thought that after me Jona will be a better person, that she will be very responsible already, no more third parties, no more side trips but I was wrong. I cant help but think that there is a possibility that during our time she also have that attitude which I didn't caught because we are in long-distance-relationship. If she can cheat with someone she is always with (as in everyday) then what more to me who is miles away from her? Now Jona's integrity is really in question. I really cant imagine how she can sleep at night with those burden in her subconscious mind. Maybe she is just used to it that's why for her everything is just normal thing.
And there comes another chance that we had a conversation in twitter just recently (we don't talk anymore btw, I also don't have Facebook) wherein I ask her how is everything after the Typhoon since their place experienced Signal Number 5. Initially its just a joke as we used to have before whenever we talk and for me its just a plane joke. For the complete conversation please refer below:
By reading this, its very easy to conclude that she got affected by what I said which is actually "A JOKE". We are joking initially and I don't know why she got affected by a joke and I immediately offered my apology after sensing that I offended her but she said "NEVER MIND" (which is actually rude). When she added her last messages is where I already retaliate. That is too much stretch of hallucinations. I cant see anything wrong with what I said then what is that stupid arguments? After that, she twitted a blind item in her twitter saying "Ganun na pala" and the twits go on and on with the last one saying "Kalma ka lang kapatid.. ;)"
Wait.. what? I'm sorry? Did I read it right? Wow! haha. (If you will confront her about that, she will definitely deny that. She will deny that, that twits are intended for me. That's how she handles issue")
But after all, I ONCE AGAIN took the initiative to step down to her level and finish it once and for all but this time for good,
I know this decision is also too much but this is the very least thing I can do after all. I entered into the picture again with the intention of offering my friendship and remove the barriers between us and everyone around us but I never thought everything will end in another tragic incident.
If Jona will be able to read this - again I have nothing against you. I have no reason to hate you because I'm done hating you. I'm just sad that you never really know me after all. You never know that being comic is natural to me. I also want to apologize if I have to do this, because I don't want to lose my respect for you. You still deserves respect and I wont withhold you with that. Lets just forget everything that happened. I cant erase them anymore but I can still continue what I have started before I entered into the picture for the second time.
I will exit again but this time for good. Again I'm so sorry (really sorry) whatever I have caused you and I hope one day you find the reason to forgive as I found the reason to forgive you before. Maybe not today, tomorrow or even in the coming days, weeks, months or year but someday. :)
Regards,
Rodel Mandia
--end---
Minsan may mga bagay na akala natin mabuti para sa atin, akala natin ok lang, tama lang, walang masama pero hindi pala, mali pala, may masasaktan pala.
Sa muling pagtatagpo ng landas namin ni Jona, nalaman ko na hindi ko na pala dapat binuksan pa ang nakaraan, hindi ko na pala dapat pang hinayaang magtagpo pa ang aming mga landas, pinagsisisihan ko talaga ng lubos ang ginawa ko dahil hindi ito nakatulong sa kahit na kanino kahit sa akin sa halip naka gulo lang ito at ngayon nga ay kailangan naming maghiwalay muli (not in good terms). Sana talaga. Sana Sana Sana. Pero nandito na e, wala na akong magagawa kahit magsisi pa ako ng laulit ulit hindi ko na maibabalik ang lahat ang magagawa ko na lang ay tangapin na I made a wrong decision again which I will regret for the rest of my life maybe but the good is I still have the chance to correct my previous mistake and made everything a lesson moving forward. Thank you for reading. God Bless You Dear Friends :)
#InMyEx
